“Accept it as it is and be true to yourself, the real answer is in you. It is about saying no to whom and what no is due and saying yes to whom and what yes is due! A simple solution to most of the problems of mankind today is just Yes and No!” -Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

I know saying ‘yes’ is way easier than saying ‘no,’ but most of the time, we overwhelm ourselves by nodding yes when our heart cries a big no inside. This is mainly due to us being hard-wired to please people. We feel great discomfort in refusing someone because we are afraid of conflict. And to avoid that, we tend to act more agreeable than we really want to be.

Having the courage to say yes or no depending on the situation can be challenging, but mastering this skill is the key to living a happy life in today’s fast-paced world.

When to Say Yes?

Let me ask you a question: what if you said ‘yes’ to everything? What would your life look like? When should you say yes?

The very basic answer to when to say yes is, ‘when it feels right to you.’ We know deep inside what we want, but when given a choice, we give in. Despite being compelled to say no, our fear makes us more obedient to others’ demands.

How to Say No?

Ironically, one of the smallest words to exist is simultaneously one of the hardest for most of us to say. “How can I refuse her? She is my best friend!” Being made aware of different ways to say no, might help alleviate your fear of disappointment and propel you towards a fulfilled life.

I like to be intuitive with making decisions. I ask myself…is this going to serve me right now? Is this going to help the people around me? Is this an opportunity in 5 years time I will be thankful for?

I ask these question, listen to my gut (usually I have anxiety if my body is telling me to say no) and take a deep breath in.

I used to suffer from FOMO and people pleasing, but there is a way to stand up for what you believe in and feel at peace.

Try This Exercise

Before you make your next decision and have to provide an answer, ask yourself these 5 questions, litent to your gut and then make a decision.

Is this going to serve me right now?

Does this person really need me and not just use me?

Is this an opportunity in 5 years time I will be thankful for?

Is this decision in line with my values?

Do I have anxiety or uncertainty about this decision? If so, why?